I feel like an alien,
Not part of the human race.
When my heart wants to burst
At the sight of your face.
I feel like I'm suffering
From a beautiful disease.
When your sad, pretty smile
Brings me to my knees.

Hoping for the best.
Expecting the worst.
But you know how that goes,
no need to describe the feeling.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

it can't be that hard.

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible"

oh well.
i bought these.

donated two pairs of shoes. i feel good.

there is no such thing as originality.

There's a picture on my kitchen wall
Looks like Jesus and his friends involved
There's a party getting started in the yard
There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive
Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently
The chemicals weren't mixed properly
You hit your head and then forgot your name
And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain
And now your altitude and memory's a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles
Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass
Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around
Well I'm far too old to care about that now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

It was all about love...

that’s what people do… they leap & hope to god they can fly.

i feel like i'm bugging you.
i wish you'd tell me what you're thinking.
despite what everyone says,
i can't read your mind.
i wish you saw in yourself
what everyone else sees in you.

other than that, i feel amazing.
i've almost read twilight for
the 4th time, and it never gets old.
i made 50 bucks this weekend,
just doing absolutely nothing at all.
i had to smell gravy this morning,
and that was like torture. but it's
alright.

"It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."



i'm alive and breathing. life is good.

my dreams are coming true as you read this page.

i feel invincible. i have the best family, the best friends, and the best life anyone could ever ask for. i've found out who my true friends are, and they mean more than oxygen to me. i'm 100% content with myself and the direction my life is headed. i've managed to keep myself free from your wrath and negativity. i've grown above you and your downhill spiral. i've finally realized i'm over you, and i no longer need you in my life. i've decided what i want to do with my life in the future. i know i won't change my mind this time. i've promised myself i will give everything i have to make this dream come true. i will stop at absolutely nothing to get to where i strive to be. one day, i will make money with my music and i will prove anyone who doesn't have faith in me wrong. from now on, i'm moving forward, toward success with out looking back. i used to be afraid of heights. but now, whether i'm climbing two inces or two miles, my direction is always up. i'm not scared of failing or falling because i have faith in myself. i know what i want, and i will get there eventually. it may not be today, tomorrow, or the next day. but i WILL get there someday, and that's all that matters.

After all, if you don't jump, you'll never know if you can fly.

"Maybe I have been here before. I know this room, I've walked this floor. I used to live alone before I knew you. I've seen your flag on the marble arch. Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah."
-jeff buckley

i love hate you.



kyle is a biatch. :)

you disgust me.

"who wants a ride with a free whore? 316-295-****"

i'm a virgin, so you can keep calling me a whore all you want.

freedom lies in being bold.

i feel free. like a bird in the sky. i want to lift my feet off the ground and fly until i reach the end of forever. i want to move somewhere beautiful, instead of boring, old, stupid kansas.



"beauty with no intellegence is like a masterpiece painted on a napkin."

while playing guitar..

I realized that in the end you think about the beginning.

today was an extremely good day. i had all of my best friends at my house to celebrate the welcoming of summer and the end of one more school year. we did absolutely nothing but eat pizza, drink soda, play pool, and take pictures. it was one of the best days i've had in a long time. i can already tell, this summer is going to be amazing.

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad.You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, “No, I’m happy for you?”
-john mayer

I'm filling these pages with the words and phrases i could use to get to you.

It turns out that i'm scared as hell, scared as hell.

You claim you're a story, and that's all you'll ever be.
When you're old and youthless
all you'll be is a page in your lonely diary
that's not that great to read.

Your unsincere apologies bring impatience to my well disguised mask. Quit lieing through your beautiful teeth, girl. You're not fooling anyone important.

"Words fell short as your lies grew stronger. Through it all, I always loved you. So when you think things are getting better, remember we're best friends for never. Because of this I've grown stronger, It took a while, but i've finally moved on."

I was on top of the world. You loved me, for all that I was, and every cell in my body knew that i loved you to. It was cold outside, and the weather was snowy. But we didn't care, we got all bundled up like a couple of 12 year olds and went outside to play. Then I woke up to the sound of thunder and the pitter of rain against my window. I'm always dreaming of you.

I would sacrafice a million fights for one second of peace with you.

The air is getting colder, so rest your head on my shoulder. If, in fact, you borrow my sweater, please dear, i need it back tomorrow. I know what you need, if only you'd let me help you.

You're going nowhere in that head of yours. Forget about what makes up you and i, let your feelings run free.

If I gave an inch, you'd take the mile. I'm not the same as when I began. Show me, don't tell me what's going on in your little world. Believe it or not, we're not all evil. I'll be your strong shoulder if you'll be my friend.

Save me one last time.

"Can you see through the eyes of a dreamer? When you sleep, do you dream in color?"

real friends

dear tyler and paige:
thank you for always staying true and being by my side through the ups, the downs, and the in betweens. you are my heart and soul. both of you mean the world to me, and i couldn't ask for anything more. you're the soul of my being, of my very existance. i dont think i've made it clear how i feel about you. words aren't even enough to express the importance of you in my life. you are my shining stars, that never go out. you're the strings on my guitar, and the led in my pencils. you're the keys on my piano and the vibration i call my voice. you're kindness fills up my heart and makes up for the times when i'm not so kind to others, myself. you're the best family in the world, and you have no idea how wonderful you are to me. i love you with every ounce of my soul. nobody will EVER take you away from me. i promise. you're my best friends and i couldn't live without you. you're the shoulder i can always count on. the person who is always available, and never to busy for me. our memories are some of the greatest, and i cannot wait to make many, many more. thank you for being the bestfriends any one human could EVER ask for.

i've finally found out who my true friends are.

bad day.

happy birthday. if you even care.


I can hear you screaming my name,
I'm already through the door.
I'm down the street
passed the old coffee shop
Where we would always meet.
Sitting close at a double table,
the one by the window with the beautiful view.

"Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this, so easily? You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breath. The days aren't easy like they used to be."

your voice is just enough to keep me company.

"doesn't that sound familiar, doesn't that hit so close to home? doesn't that make you shiver, the way things could have gone. doesn't that feel pecialure, when everyone wants a little more?"

I guess this is growing up.

Kris Allen

I don't know why, but watching American Idol with my mom inspired me a lot.

Just thought I'd let you know.

just been thinking.

"Here I go again on, my own going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time."

a few short months ago i was attending band camp. a short, freshman, loser, who didn't have a clue, and now i'm watching all my new friends walk across the stage moving on to another life, another existance. some of them, i may never see again. i'm happy for them, but at the same time i'm going to miss them like hell. in 3 short years, that'll be me up there. i can't wait, but at the same time i can. i'm not ready to grow up just yet.

"Just another heart in need of rescue waiting on love's sweet charity and I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days because I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams."

i don't know why, but i keep on fighting. hoping you'll give me the time of day. i'm stupid. i should have known you never would. i'm just hurting myself, yet i can't stop longing to be in your arms. i've begged for your attention. done anything i possibly could to get you to look at me the way you look at her. i've let you walk all over me. but now, i am done. completely done with your bullshit ways. i think it's time to move on. onto better people, a new life. good. bye.

here's to a new beginning.